Enough Already

I said to myself about two weeks before my birthday that I really wanted to write more positively and more often about the gifts in my life.  I was going to do that cheesy countdown daily until my next birthday.  I. Am. Not.  I discovered this week - affectionately named the week from utter hell for a reason - that I do not have time each and every day to write.  Some days it cuts into my sleeping, and dear god, I need every minute I can get.    Also... some days I'm just not so fucking positive and how can I claim to be on this path of experiences and self discovery if all I ever write is the positive.  Between an argument with the husband that got wildly out of control, a diminutive shop lifter I have to address today, another daughter who is so lost and confused about who she is and where she fits into the world she lashes out at anyone and everyone, a leg cramp so painful in the middle of the night I awoke screaming, case workers and meetings, doctor's appointments and car issues still waiting to be resolved in this blessed heat, I haven't a clue how to be positive today.   I do however, know how to feel.  I know how to immerse myself in an experience and feel empathy and sympathy for others and that I can write about.  I think I will learn from that and grow as a person and a mother.  Isn't that what it's all about?